Always Be Pretending
by GenealogistElyse
Summary: This is a Harry/Hermione story that begins during DH, just after Ron leaves during the search for horcruxes.  Ignore Epilogue.  Story begins with H/G and R/H but turns into Harry/Hermione.
1. Chapter 1: We Agreed

A/N: I haven't written a HP fanfic in a while but I was inspired recently. With summer coming up, I won't be as busy so I decided to try to get some writing done. This is a Harry and Hermione story that begins during DH (ignore the epilogue). Then it fast forwards 6 years into the future, with Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione. At the end of the story, there is a quote from the song "Pretending" from the TV show Glee.

Hermione was devastated by Ron's abandonment, but she tried her best to stay focused on finding the horcruxes. Despite her best efforts, one night after too many sleepless nights and overwhelmed with fear, she broke down. It was Harry who came to her and let her cry into his chest for hours. It was Harry who had rocked her gently back and forth and whispered comforting words. She knew that he was just as unsure as she was that Ron would ever return, but she felt comfort in Harry's words of promise. He held her as she fell asleep in his arms.

In the weeks following Ron's departure, she noticed she had gotten much closer to Harry. She leaned on him more now than she had ever done before and he was always there to bring her back to center. After a fearful night of almost being caught by snatchers, Hermione broke down again. They were no closer to finding the other horcruxes and destroying them. She began to feel enveloped in the fear that they would never find them and that this war would never end.

"Harry?" she asked softly as she sat on her bed, her knees drawn to her chest.

"Hm?" he replied softly, not looking at her.

"Do you think we can just stay here forever? Just grow old together? And never look back?" she asked.

He gave her a soft smile before walking over to her side of the room. He sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. She put her head on his shoulder instinctively. He kissed her forehead gently and she quietly began to weep into his chest. He stroked her back as they sat in the quiet. After a while, she pulled away from him.

"Thank you, Harry" she said quietly. She kept her eyes on his chest, embarrassed that she had just lost control of her emotions again. "I don't know what I'd do without you".

He gently placed his right index finger under her chin and lifted her face so their eyes could meet. "Thank you for staying. I know I never would have made it this far without you. I can't imagine my life without you" he said to her. She smiled gently. His eyes searched hers for a moment to make sure that he had comforted her and once he felt satisfied he smiled softly at her again.

Then without even thinking he leaned down, gently closed his eyes and kissed her lips tenderly. Hermione closed her eyes as he kissed her and she realized that she hadn't felt safe like this in a long time. The feeling of his lips brushing against hers made her stomach erupt into butterflies. But just as quickly as it had began, it ended. Harry pulled away from her and quickly searched her eyes for any signs of regret. But all he saw was longing. She longed to be touched, to feel safe, to feel loved… to feel any sense of normalcy.

She reached her arms up and wrapped her hands around his neck before leaning up to kiss him again. This one was soft like the first, but Harry could feel her sense of longing and urgency. She slowly began to deepen the kiss as he pulled her closer. Harry felt a heat in his chest the moment their tongues touched.

As her hands reached his hair, he let a moan escape his mouth. The moan only drove her crazier and she pressed her body against his more tightly. She was breathless but she didn't care. Her heart pounded against her rib cage and she knew that she didn't want this feeling to end.

She just wanted Harry.

And Harry just wanted her.

Hermione woke up the next morning and she could feel his arm protectively draped over her body. She smiled as she remembered the feeling she had gotten from him the night before. She layed in bed a few moments longer, letting her mind wander to last night.

And then it hit her – she felt the guilt flood over her as the image of Ron appeared in her head. She knew that her actions with Harry last night would hurt him. She suddenly felt disgusted with herself – how could she betray him like that? She had reassured him so many times that there was nothing more than friendship between her and Harry, and here she was, laying in his arms. As she closed her eyes to fight back tears she could see an image of an angry and hurt Ginny, which only made Hermione feel worse. Just months prior, she had reassured Ginny that Harry would be hers once the war was over, that he was only distancing himself from her in an effort to protect her. And now she was betraying both of her best friends. And she felt horrible for doing it.

Hermione began to move out of the bed when she felt Harry's grip on her tighten. But she forced her way out of the bed, grabbed her robe from the floor and quickly placed it on. Harry's eyes began to flutter open and he reached onto the side table in search of his glasses. As he placed them on his head, he looked at Hermione confused.

"Everything alright?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah" Hermione lied. She grabbed her wand from her side table and began walking towards the tent opening. "I'm going to look for some breakfast" she said as she avoided his gaze. Before Harry could reply, she walked out of the tent opening.

_Did she regret what the kiss they had shared last night?_ Harry thought. _Did I do something to offend her?_ He thought. _Does she regret last night?_

Harry pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he got dressed. She returned shortly after with some mushrooms that she had found. She was tense and determined to avoid his gaze. They were in silence for a while as Harry sat at the small kitchen table and tried to read one of the books, but he couldn't focus on the words. Why was she acting like this?

The rest of the day was spent in mostly silence. They seemed to be avoiding each other, which only made Harry's thoughts intensify. She must be regretting the night before. He knew she must want to leave, but he also knew that she was much too loyal to run away. She promised him that she would stay by his side until the end, and he knew she would never back out of her promise, even if it killed her to stay with him.

"Hermione…?" Harry asked quietly. He waited for her reaction but he didn't get one. "Hermione…?" he repeated.

She turned towards him, but kept her eyes at her hands, which were fidgeting in front of her.

"I'm sorry for last night…" he began quietly.

"Oh, Harry." She said softly.

"I never meant to hurt you."

"Harry…"

"I'm sorry for overstepping my bounds." Harry continued. He was trying to get his words out quickly as if he wouldn't have the strength to say them if he didn't.

"Harry…"

"You are the most brilliant witch I know and I know that I wouldn't be here without you. I never meant to make you feel pressured or forced into… please, I need to know that we can move passed this, that you can forgive me…" Harry pleaded with her. But her eyes remained glued to her hands.

"Harry…"

"Please… I just need to know"

"What have we done?" she said, tears rolling down her cheeks now. It killed Harry to see her like this. He was at a loss of words, and the silence between them grew.  
>"We betrayed them, Harry. Don't you see? Last night wasn't supposed to happen. We've always known we weren't meant to happen." Hermione said. She was desperately trying to hold back the sobs as the tears streamed faster down her cheeks and landed on the floor.<p>

"Hermione… maybe that isn't how it was meant to be. I don't regret any part of last night." Harry said reassuringly. "Do you?"

"What?" said Hermione looking shocked. She was quiet for a moment before she answered him. "No" she said matter-of- factly.

"But what if you're wrong? Harry… what if this doesn't work?" She asked, meeting his eyes for the first time. "I can't bear the thought of you not in my life. What if… what if it ruins our friendship?" she said. "I just can't handle the thought of losing you".

"You'll never lose me" said Harry. He stood up, walked over to her, and hugged her tightly. She let her hands grip the back of his shirt as she tried to suppress the tears that were overwhelming her.

They stayed in a tight embrace for a long while before finally breaking apart. They made a promise to pretend nothing had ever happened between them. If they lied to themselves long enough, maybe they would soon believe it to be the truth.

******************  
><strong>Six Years Later…<strong>

Hermione was sitting on the dock and looking deeply into the water, deep in thought. She stared down at the water a moment longer, before gently placing her feet into the water. It was definitely a bit colder than she remembered. She shivered slightly as she took in the cool fall air before letting her eyes drift to the lake again.

"Hey" said a voice behind her. She jumped slightly as she was taken away from her thoughts. She turned and was faced with a tall raven hair boy.

"May I sit?" he asked.

She gave him a small nod and he sat down beside her. They sat there in silence for a moment as Hermione looked down at her hands.

"Is this how you pictured things, Harry?" she said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked concerned. Hermione only shook her head in response and took in a deep breath. "'Mione, what's wrong?" he asked, studying her face for a sign.

"Are things how you thought they would be?" She didn't move her eyes from her hands. She knew she had to concentrate on them hard to fight back the tears.

"I suppose" he replied quietly. He looked down at his own hands, too ashamed to look at her.

She nodded and then took another deep breath. She quietly stood up to begin the walk back to the Burrow but Harry grabbed her wrist and slowly began to look up at her.

"Please…" she said quietly. She tried her best to fight the tears back, but one escaped her left eye.

"Hermione…" Harry said.

"Please don't." she interrupted.

"No, you need to understand."

"What is there to understand, Harry? I always knew that this day was coming. I knew you always belonged to Ginny. I just… I just…" Her tears were falling more freely now and she used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears. "I didn't know it would hurt this much." She finished.

"Hermione…" Harry began. He hated to see her cry and he hated himself for knowing that he was the reason for it.

"No… really, Harry. I'm happy for you. I really am. You're finally going to get the big family you've always dreamed of. This is what you worked so hard for, this is what you fought for" she finished. She was now taking more rapid breaths as she tried to contain herself.

"You know that's not entirely true" Harry corrected her. Their eyes met for the first time and she could tell that he was pleading with her to understand. "I fought for you. You know that. But we agreed…" his voice broke off.

She nodded somberly. She understood.

"We should get back to the Burrow before anyone gets worried," said Hermione firmly.

Harry knew better than to press her further and he silently followed her to the Burrow.

Once inside, Hermione walked over to Ginny and gave her a hug. She then took Ginny's hand and began admiring the engagement ring on Ginny's left hand.

"It's beautiful, Ginny!" said Hermione, trying her best to sound genuine.

She knew Harry was stealing glances of her as he pretended to care about whatever Ron was saying.

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling?  
>Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls?<em>

_Will we ever have our happy ending?  
>Or will be always be pretending?<em>

_Will be always be pretending?_

_-Pretending by Glee_


	2. Chapter 2: Looking for Something?

"I must admit, I wasn't expecting Harry to propose to Ginny so out of the blue. He didn't even tell me he was thinking about it," said Ron as he walked through the door of his apartment.

"Yeah," Hermione said distractedly as she hung her jacket on the coat stand. She didn't want to think about Harry, Ginny, or their engagement. While she knew that Harry and Ginny had been in a serious relationship for years, she still didn't see this coming. _Maybe I was always hoping that he'd change his mind._

"But I guess that means you'll soon be wearing some ugly bridesmaid dress," said Ron with a laugh. He walked up behind Hermione, wrapped his arms around her waist, and rested his chin on her shoulder. "But no matter what Ginny forces you to wear, you'll always be beautiful to me," said Ron. He kissed her on the cheek.

Hermione took in a deep breath and smiled softly to herself. She always knew this was how things were going to turn out: Harry was going to be with Ginny, and she was going to be with Ron. It was just the way things were always meant to be. She loved Ron, and despite his flaws, she knew that he would do anything for her. He had learned a hard lesson when he left her and Harry all those years ago, and she knew that he would never do anything like that again. But she couldn't get the small voice in the back of her mind to stop wondering if this was not how things were meant to be… if she was really always meant for Harry.

"Are you alright?" asked Ron, sounding concerned.

"Hmm?" said Hermione as she was broken from her thoughts. "Oh. Yes, Ronald, I'm fine," she replied. She turned around to find Ron's eyebrow lifted slightly in suspicion. "I'm just thinking about all of the planning that will need to be done for the wedding," said Hermione. She forced a smile, hoping he wouldn't press her further.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" asked Ron.

"Actually, I think I'm going to head home," replied Hermione.

"But you just got here," Ron said disappointedly. "Why don't you just stay the night?"

"I'm really tired. I think it is best if I just go home," said Hermione. She walked towards him and kissed him softly. "Goodnight," she said with a small smile.

As she turned to leave, Ron grabbed her wrist. "Wait… 'Mione, please stay". Ron's eyes were pleading with her. She knew that he must be hurting since his best friend and little sister are getting married, while he isn't living with his girlfriend. She had been with Ron for about as long as Harry had been with Ginny.

Hermione sighed and looked down at her feet. "Night, Ron," she said quietly. Then she walked out the door and apparated to her apartment.

Hermione entered her flat and set her hung her purse from the coat rack. She walked to the couch and sat down, rubbing her temples. It had been hard for her to pretend like Harry's engagement didn't bother her – now that she was alone, the full stress of the day seemed to hit her like a ton of bricks. _How am I going to watch him marry Ginny? How am I going to watch him promise his heart and life to her?_ Hermione closed her eyes tightly at the thought and tried to push it out of her mind. Harry was moving on with his life and making a lifetime commitment to Ginny. Maybe it was time to stop holding on to that night so many years ago – it definitely seems like Harry has.

Hermione walked to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. She took it to her bedroom, changed into some pajamas, and then made herself comfortable in bed with a book. She needed to focus on something other than what _could _be.

*********  
><em>Harry walked into an extremely large room he did not recognize. There were large windows with purple curtains that looked out onto a well groomed yard. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace and the warmth seemed to call out to him. A large couch was seated in the middle of the room and near the fireplace were two red chairs. He looked around cautiously, wondering what this place was.<em>

"_Looking for something?"_

_Harry quickly turned around to see Hermione, wearing a long satin backless dress. Her hair pulled back and she had pearl earrings and a pearl necklace on. She noticed Harry's surprise and she laughed softly to herself._

"_Hermione…" Harry began. "You're… you're absolutely beautiful"._

_She smiled again. "Are you looking for something?" she asked again._

"_What?" Harry asked, clearly confused._

"_Well you seem to be looking for something Harry," Hermione said plainly. "But I can't help you if you don't even know what you're looking for"._

"_What? I… I… What is this place?" Harry asked, finally noticing that he still did not know where he was._

"_You tell me"_

"_What?"_

"_Tell me where we are. You created this place. So tell me where we are," Hermione said._

"_What do you mean I created this place?" Harry asked even more confused. He tried to step towards Hermione but she gently shook her head at him. He stared at her. Confusion, frustration and fear building in his chest._

"_Of course you did, Harry. You are clearly looking for something. Assurance? Guidance? Encouragement? Someone to tell you you're doing the right thing?"_

"_Doing the right thing?" Harry asked, still clearly confused._

"_You've never been one to catch on quickly, have you?" Hermione laughed. "Oh Harry… don't you see it? You're getting married and you're scared. You have a brave Gryffindor heart but you are so afraid of hurting someone you love. You are so loyal and protective. Clearly you want someone to reassure you that you're doing the right thing," Hermione finished._

"_Am I?" Harry asked, partially ashamed for sounding like such a child. "Am I doing the right thing? Am I making the right choice?"_

"_Some things cannot be answered with the mind. Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart to wherever it leads you. But I can't answer your question, Harry. This is your choice and your choice to make."_

"_How is this my choice, Hermione? We agreed –"_

"_You are preparing to promise your heart and soul to Ginny. You need to decide whether you are ready to make that commitment to her. Once you make the commitment, there is no turning back Harry. You must be sure,"_

_Harry could see a glimpse of pain in Hermione's eyes. She looked away from him as he stared at her more intently. "And you?"_

"_And me?"_

"_Why haven't you made that commitment to Ron?"_

"_I can't make that commitment to Ron," she finished, avoiding Harry's gaze._

"_Why not?"_

"_You've always known why. Please don't make me say it"_

"_What? What is it?"_

"_It hurts every time I think about it. Every time I let my thoughts drift to that night. Every time I think of you when I should be thinking of Ron. Every time I pretend I'm good enough. Every time I pretend that everything is perfectly fine. Every time I wonder if we made a promise we couldn't keep," Hermione finished quietly. "It hurts so much,"_

_Harry tried to reach out to Hermione, but his arms would not move._

"_No one can make this choice for you, Harry," said Hermione, stronger now. "This is your choice to make. No matter your decision, I'll always be there for you. I promised you I would never leave, and I never will," Hermione said quietly, still avoiding his gaze._

_She walked closer to Harry and barely let her lips touch his right cheek. His body erupted into pins and needles as he felt the satin of her dress across his arm. Her right hand reached down for his and she intertwined her fingers in his. He watched her breasts slowly rise and fall as she took a deep breath in and rested her head on his shoulder._

Harry abruptly woke up. He could feel an arm on his chest and he looked down to see Ginny. He felt disappointment as he realized it was Ginny's arm. It had all been a dream. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and closed his eyes again, trying not to wake Ginny.

But he still didn't have the answer he was looking for.


	3. Chapter 3: So You Love Her?

Hermione hurriedly grabbed her purse and coat as she began heading out of the door. She was running late and she hated running late.

Hermione apparated herself to a small alleyway, looked around to make sure there weren't any Muggles around, and then continued walking to her destination. After walking two blocks, she arrived at the small Italian restaurant that she loved so much. She opened the door and began looking around for familiar faces. She finally saw Luna waving at her from a table in the corner. She smiled and walked to the table.

"I'm so sorry for being late," said Hermione apologetically.

"Don't worry about it," replied Luna as she gave Hermione a hug.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who is running late," said Hermione, slightly annoyed. She noticed the three empty chairs at the table.

"Are the Weasley's ever on time?" laughed Neville.

"Very true!" laughed Hermione. She knew this night was not going to be easy, but she also knew that it felt good to be surrounded by her friends. Even though no one knew about her feelings for Harry or what happened years ago, she could still feel their love and support. She knew she wouldn't have lasted this long without them.

She loved how her friends made it a point every month to meet somewhere and enjoy each other's company. After Hogwarts, everyone became busy starting their careers and experiencing life. It was nice to stay in touch and keep their friendships alive.

"Sorry we're late," said Harry, sounding tired.

"The office kept us late and then Ginny wasn't ready," Ron said, clearly annoyed.

"Shut it, Ron," said Ginny. She stared daggers at Ron before hugging Luna.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny began walking around the table and greeting everyone before taking their seats. She tensed up as Harry took the seat to her left.

Hermione stared at Ginny and noticed the giant smile on her face. She seemed to glow as she excitedly showed her engagement ring to Luna and Neville. Every smile and "congratulations" felt like a stab through the heart. But Hermione kept her pain hidden by her smile.

The group ordered their food and continued chatting casually as their food came. They joked around as they ate. Once they finished their meals, everyone ordered coffee and continued to chat.

"Have you picked a date for the wedding yet?" asked Luna.

"July 18th" Ginny said excitedly.

Hermione chocked on her water.

"I know it is soon, but I've always dreamt of a July wedding. It'll be summer, so there will be lots of flowers in season. Besides, July is a special month for us – it is the month that I moved in with Harry nearly four years ago," said Ginny smiling. She looked at Harry and took his hand in hers.

_Two months? Harry is getting married in two months?_ Hermione wanted to scream.

"It'll be a beautiful wedding Gin," said Hermione, trying to make her smile believable.

"What about you and Ron?" said Ginny looking between Hermione and Ron. "When will you two be taking the plunge? You've been together for years, don't you think it is about time to at least live together?"

Hermione swallowed hard and tried to think of a reply. She was furious that Ginny would meddle into her love life. Ron sensed Hermione's anger and put his hand on her knee under the table, attempting to calm her.

"When the time is right, we'll get a home together. Until then, why don't you focus on your own love life? You should be busy with a wedding to plan," Ron retorted to Ginny. He gave an angry stare at her and left his hand on Hermione's knee. He gently rubbed her knee with his thumb and Hermione could feel his love for her. She knew it wasn't easy for him to be patient with her and yet here he was protecting and defending her. _Why can't I just be happy with Ron?_

"I didn't mean to upset you," said Ginny. "It just seems odd that you aren't even living together yet. It has been nearly five years. What could you possibly be waiting for?" asked Ginny.

Hermione couldn't take it anymore. It was like Ginny knew. She stood up, placed her napkin on the table in front of her and left without speaking another word.

"Hermione!" Ron called after her.

"Don't bother," Hermione called back. She quickly walked out of the restaurant towards the alley, trying to hold back the tears until she was alone in her apartment. She was breathing heavily as she walked and tried to remain calm – she didn't want to draw attention to herself.

Just as Hermione reached the alley, she could feel the tears falling down her cheeks. She looked around and began to picture her apartment in her mind as she prepared to apparate. She gave one last look around and closed her eyes.

"Hermione! Wait! Hermione!"

She opened her eyes and saw Harry running towards her. She sighed.

"Not now, Harry," Hermione said as she closed her eyes again.

"Hermione, please! Just wait a minute. Talk to me," he pleaded.

"Not now," Hermione said stronger. She tried to focus on her mind on her apartment but she felt Harry's hand grab her arm.

"At least take me with you," Harry pleaded. "We can talk."

"Don't you have a fiancée to attend to?" Hermione said icily. Harry was shocked at the coldness in her voice and let go of her arm.

"Why are you getting so upset? You've never let Ginny's pushiness bother you before. What's changed?" asked Harry. He was confused by her sudden anger. _I thought this is what she wanted. I thought she was happy for me._

"Well pardon me if I don't feel the need to get the approval of the rest of the world when it comes to my private life. It is none of her business. Or yours for that matter. I just don't feel the need to justify why or why not I choose to move in with someone or get married or anything else. I don't give in to the pressure to get married."

"Are you trying to imply that I'm getting married just because I feel pressured?" asked Harry annoyed.

"Well… are you?"

"Of course not! Ginny is kind and funny and caring and she has never cared about my past,"

Hermione laughed. "Never cared about your past? Harry – that is why she fell in love with you in the first place! It was because you were the 'Boy Who Lived'!"

"That's not true and you know it!"

"So you love her then?" Hermione shot back. She stared at Harry with anger and hurt in her eyes.

Harry paused. "Yes,"

"You're in love with her? You're ready to commit the rest of your life to her? You're ready to promise once and for all that she will be your one and only? You are truly ready to tell her that your heart belongs only to her and that you will never put anyone else above her? That she will be the only person your heart will ever want? There is no one else?" Hermione was angry now. It was time for her to stop living in the past and let go of Harry. She was realizing that he was letting go of her.

Harry stayed silent for a moment and looked deeply into Hermione's eyes.

"What do you want me to say?" Harry asked finally. His voice was calmer now.

"I want the truth Harry," said Hermione forcefully. No matter how much the truth will hurt, she needs to know.

Harry just stared at her silently. He couldn't say it. He couldn't tell her that he wanted nothing more than to take Hermione home with him and stay up talking for hours. He missed her. The her she was before this tension came between them. Before they promised to never let it happen again.

"That's what I thought," said Hermione angrily. She was hurt. She now knew the truth: There was something between them but it would never be. She would have to live a lie. She would have to live a lie for the rest of her life. She turned around and closed her eyes again and prepared to apparate.

"Hermione!" Harry called to her as she apparated to her apartment.

Harry cursed to himself. He wanted so badly to believe that his heart only belonged to Ginny. Ginny was easy to love. But he didn't want easy. He wanted Hermione.


	4. Chapter 4: I Know

Hermione awoke the next day with an unsettled stomach. Her face was red and swollen from crying the night before and her hair was messier than usual. She didn't feel like getting out of bed. She didn't feel anything at all. The last six years felt like a delusion now that she knew there was nothing left between her and Harry. How could she have been silly enough to believe that anything between them would ever work?

Despite the way she was feeling, she knew she needed to leave her apartment. She knew it wouldn't be long before Ron would be coming over to check on her. She had sent him home just before she broke down, but she knew he was worried for her.

Hermione took a shower and wrapped her hair into a high messy bun. She tried various magical creams and potions to make the swelling and redness go away, but her eyes still seemed to show her broken heart.

Dressed in a black t-shirt and dark jeans, Hermione made her way to her entryway in search of a jacket and her purse. She picked her navy blue peacoat and purse from the coat stand and opened her door.

"Hi," said Ginny in a soft voice. She was looking down at her feet and playing with her hands. Hermione jumped at the sound of her voice.

"Ginny… what are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize. I had no business to be saying those things. I just…" Ginny sighed and seemed to be struggling about whether to mention something or not. "I'm sorry."

"Harry put you up to this?" Hermione asked angrily. "Nice of him to meddle in my business too!"

"Hermione… please… I should never have said those things –"

"No you should not have. But you did. Now if you'll excuse me I'm on my way out," said Hermione, taking a step forward.

"I was jealous! Okay? I was jealous. I noticed the way he looked at you when we arrived at the restaurant and I just… I lost it. I'm so sorry. I know you two have this connection because of…" her voice trailed off. "I know it is stupid for me think like this, but sometimes I worry that there is something more between the two of you. You already have such a history and a connection and I just get scared sometimes that he will change his mind and decide that I'm not good enough and that he really wants you because you two just seem to _get_ each other and –"

"You're rambling…" said Hermione. Suddenly she felt ashamed for hoping Harry would leave Ginny. She could feel the heavy weight of their decision to keep that night so long ago a secret, to move on like nothing ever happened. Despite trying to keep things secret, people were starting to suspect there was something more than friendship between them. By trying to protect the people they loved, the people who supported them and sacrificed so much for them, they were really hurting them more.

"I'm sorry. I never should have said those things," said Ginny. Tears were beginning to escape Ginny's eyes, despite her attempt to hold them back.

"Ginny… I'm sorry I overreacted. I never should have ran off like that," said Hermione, suddenly softening her disposition.

"No. No, I deserved every bit of it. I deserve a lot worse…" said Ginny, letting her voice trail off. "I know it shouldn't bother me, especially after all these years, but I just… I couldn't shake this feeling. Especially after Harry ran after you… I just can't help but wonder if I'm really what Harry wants or if he is just settling. Sometimes it feels like he isn't really looking at me, even though he is staring right at me – like he is thinking of someone else. I know this is all in my head but I just…my heart can't seem to be convinced that he truly only looks at you as a friend." Ginny was crying freely now. It felt so freeing to finally be expressing the feelings, fears, and suspicions she had been holding back for years. She stared at Hermione, hoping that she would make her fears go away.

"Ginny…" Hermione began. She knew she had to pick her words carefully. Her heart was stuck in her throat and she was trying not to panic.

"Just tell me it isn't true. Tell me I'm crazy for thinking such things. Please. Please Hermione… just… just tell me I'm wrong," said Ginny, desperately trying to retain her composure.

Hermione swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"Ginny… there is nothing more than friendship between Harry and I," said Hermione in a shaky voice. Hermione suddenly felt backed into a corner. All she could do now was pray.

"But there was something at one time wasn't there?" Ginny looked into Hermione's eyes for answers and when Hermione's eyes dropped to the floor, she knew she had her answer. She only nodded before turning around and apparating.

Hermione closed her eyes and the tears flowed freely again down her face and into her hands. The lie was now out in the open. Ginny may not have known the full story, but it appears that she has always known there was _something_. With a wedding on the way, Ginny just needed to be sure… and now she was.

Ginny's entire body ached as she began packing her clothes into a suitcase. She was crying uncontrollably but still tried to stay focused on packing. She refused to allow Harry to see her like this… she wasn't sure if she could take it. She knew she should feel betrayed and angry… but she just felt so hurt. They had been hiding this from her for years. Did he really love her or was he just settling? It hurt so much to think that he would only pick her because he felt like he had to. It had been six years…

Then she heard the front door open and close. She knew he was home and it was only second before he would discover her.

"Ginny!" Harry called from the living room. "Where are you?" He followed the sound of her sobs into their bedroom and stopped in the doorway. "What's wrong?" his voice was soft. "Why are you packing?" His voice was full of fear and nervousness.

Ginny just shook her head for a long while, trying to stop her tears long enough to explain.

"I know," was all she could manage to get out.

"Know what? Ginny, please… what is going on?" Harry's eyes were now filling with tears and his face had become very pale.

"Her. You and Her." Ginny continued sobbing and sat on the bed to keep herself from falling. She couldn't say it. She knew she had to but she couldn't seem to muster up the words.

"What? What are you talking about?" said Harry, confused.

"Hermione…" Ginny just kept sobbing.

"What are you talking about? What about Hermione? Please Ginny… please just talk to me. Please just calm down so you can talk to me,"

"You've been hiding it for all these years," Ginny took in some shaky breaths as she tried to stabilize herself. "I saw Hermione. I know."

Harry held his breath. _Why would Hermione say something? They promised._

"It was a long time ago Ginny. It only happened once. It was during the war and we were both scared and lonely and it just happened." He was speaking quickly now and feeling terrified.

Ginny suddenly stopped crying and looked up at him. Her breath was still shaky but she stared at him with a new intensity.

"What happened?" asked Ginny in a low voice. She had suspicions about the feelings between Harry and Hermione, but she had no idea they had actually _acted_ on those feelings.

"We… we… slept together," finished Harry. He watched Ginny carefully for any sign as to her what she would do with this new knowledge.

Ginny's face stiffened and she started breathing heavily. She stared Harry in the eyes with an intensity that made him feel like he was three centimeters tall. After what felt like days, Ginny looked down at her suitcase, zipped it up, and put it on the floor.

"How _dare_ you stay with me all of these years and ask me to _marry_ you when I am merely the _second_ choice. I thought you were a better man, Harry. After everything we've been through and the sacrifices I made, you didn't have the courage to just tell me things had changed? You're a disgrace to Gryffindor."

Without another word, Ginny walked out of the apartment, suitcase in hand, leaving Harry all by himself.

The next morning, Harry made himself a cup of tea and debated on whether or not to go to Hermione's house. He needed to understand why she mentioned anything to Ginny. Was she angry with me? Is she trying to get back at me? Did she break up with Ron? Does she hope we'll get back together? Why did she decide to suddenly break the silence?

He buried his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. He felt lost.

Then a knock came at the front door. Harry stared at it and silently debated on whether or not to open it. Maybe Ginny had forgotten something. Or maybe her brothers were here to kill him. Then there was a second knock.

He finally decided to get up and he slowly made his way to the door. He slowly opened it.

"Hermione…?"


	5. Chapter 5: And She Said Nothing

**A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating this story sooner! Life got in the way and I seemed to lose my inspiration. But I got it back! So here is a short chapter to hold you over and I'm in the middle of writing the next one. So it should be up by Monday. I hope. Enjoy! And please leave me some reviews – I know I don't deserve them – but they help me know if you like what is going on or if you think I should go in a different direction… so here it is!**

"Hermione? What are you doing here?" asked Harry confused and surprised to see her on his doorstep. She rarely showed up unannounced like this and judging by how uncomfortable she looked, he knew something was wrong.

She opened her mouth and closed it again. She took another deep breath and tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. She gave Harry a fleeting look and turned to walk away towards the sidewalk.

"Hermione! What's wrong?" called Harry, concern filling his voice. He grabbed her arm and she paused for a moment before continuing to walk on.

Harry walked out of his doorway towards her. "Hermione! Wait a moment. Won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Hermione just shook her head as she walked. "It's nothing. Never mind," she said as she struggled to keep tears back. She walked faster and as she did, she apparated home. The last thing she heard was Harry calling her name.

Hermione reached her apartment just in time – the tears began falling down her cheeks now and she slid to the floor as her knees gave out. She had wanted to apologize for talking to Ginny. She knew that they must have had a horrible fight about the discussion. Harry must be furious with her for telling Ginny that there were romantic feelings between the two of them.

She wiped her tears from her eyes and sat on the floor in silence for a while longer. She contemplated staying in this spot forever.

Then she heard a pop in the other room and she gripped her wand tightly, finally seeing Ron walk in the room. He stared at her and concern instantly swept over his. He quickly walked to her and bent down at her side.

"What happened? What's wrong?" He anxiously asked as he grabbed her hands.

She shook her head in response, contemplating what kind of answer to give.

"Hermione," he said gently. "Is it what Ginny said? Please, don't shut me out," he begged.

"Let's go somewhere" said Hermione softly, just loud enough for Ron to hear her.

"Go somewhere? Where do you want to go?" He asked confused.

"Far away," Hermione said absentmindedly. She just knew she couldn't stay here.

"Ok… Ok. Let me grab a few things for you from upstairs and we'll go anywhere you want OK?" said Ron. He was still clearly confused, but he followed her orders as best as he could.

She waited on the floor of her entryway in heavy thought. She knew that it would only be a matter of time before Ginny would break it off with Harry and everyone would know. Everyone would know that there was once something between Harry and Hermione. Once… Hermione thought. But as Harry made perfectly clear, it would never actually happen. But would that change if Ginny left him? Or would he never forgive her for telling Ginny?

Hermione's heart sank as she heard a knock on the door. She knew it was Harry and she knew he wouldn't leave until he talked to her. Not only was he probably furious with her, but now she worried him.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted through the door. "Hermione! If you're there, open the door!"

Hermione rushed to the door, opened it and pushed herself outside, quickly closing the door behind her.

"Bloody hell! Are you alright?" Harry asked, relief that she opened the door.

"Yes," Hermione answered quietly, avoiding Harry's gaze. She felt like he could see right through her.

"You show up at my door looking petrified and then just walk away. What the hell am I supposed to think?"

"I know… I'm sorry, I just lost it… and I just couldn't face you," Hermione pleaded quietly. She knew it was only a matter of time before Ron would be downstairs and she knew he would hear their conversation through the door. She was trapped and it was about to get ugly.

"You couldn't face me? Hermione…" Harry said bewildered. "What happened to us?" he said fleetingly. Hermione finally met his eyes as she tried to decode his words.

"I feel like I don't even know you. We used to be able to talk about anything and now I feel like we are walking on egg shells every time we see each other. We get in this huge argument over something I thought you wanted, and then you go and tell Ginny about us? Please just tell me what you want because all I've ever wanted was to make you happy!"

"Hermione?" Hermione hadn't even heard the front door open and just noticed Ron standing in the doorway. "What's going on?" Ron asked confused and suspicious.

Harry looked from Ron to Hermione and back. Then he looked at Hermione. "Great. Just made an ass out of myself!"

"Harry!" Hermione shouted towards him. But he ignored her calls and walked to the sidewalk and apparated.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Ron confused.

"Ron…. I… Harry and I…. a long time ago…" but Hermione's words stopped as she saw an owl flying towards the front door_. Please don't let it be a letter from Ginny_ she thought to herself.


	6. Chapter 6: The Place I Fell in Love

**A/N: Thank you for the two reviewers! I greatly appreciate you taking the time to leave me a review and I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far. Without further ado, here is the next chapter.**

Hermione looked to Ron. He was holding a piece of parchment from Ginny and she knew that her secret was out. Her heart was beating through her chest and she wondered if it might actually explode. She was terrified of how Ron would react.

"Ron…" Hermione began carefully. She could sense herself falling apart. But his eyes did not leave the page in his hands. Then he started turning red and the paper began to shake in his eyes.

He turned away from the page looking disgusted. Staring up at Hermione, he looked as if he might explode.

"You…" he said quietly, barely audible. He took a few more rapid breaths in as his mind raced. "Him?" He looked at Hermione with such rage and hurt that she was sure he was going to hex her.

"Ron, _please_, just _listen_ to me!" she begged. She reached for his arm but he pushed it aside and apparated – she knew he was looking for Harry.

"RON!" she yelled, but she knew it didn't do any good. Her eyes filled with tears and she knew she had to find Harry before Ron did. She racked her mind as to where he would go, but the panic welling up inside of her was keeping her from thinking straight.

Hermione began apparating to different places she hoped Harry would be. She checked his apartment. She checked his favorite pub. She checked his favorite park where he went to get away from magic. But Harry was nowhere to be found. Just as she was beginning to feel like giving up, she apparated herself one last time.

When she opened her eyes, she could see the sunlight coming through the trees. She looked down to see the red and brown leaves on the ground. Slow running water could be heard in the distance. She smiled as she took in the smell and realized it still smelled the same as it did that day.

She looked around and hoped to see some sign of Harry somewhere. Perhaps it was silly of her to come here – it was a fleeting attempt after all. She considered saying his name, but she didn't want to disturb the peacefulness of the forest. Her eyes frantically scanned the forest space but he wasn't there.

She took a few more steps forward, still scanning for any sign of Harry. She turned a corner around a tree and started walking toward the creek. Then she saw him and her whole body froze.

He was sitting on a small log, staring at the water. If he noticed Hermione, he didn't show it.

Hermione took one slow step forward, causing the leaves and twigs beneath her feet to crack slightly. Harry turned as he heard it and for the first time their eyes met, but Hermione struggled to read him.

"Harry…" she breathed, hoping he would just talk to her.

"How did you know to come here?" Harry angrily asked. His gaze was strong and angry, but Hermione sensed a tinge of something else.

"I… I…" she began. She suddenly felt like a timid child.

"Come here looking for Ron?" he asked icily.

"I've been looking for _you_." She responded determinedly.

Harry stared at her for a few seconds and her eyes pleaded with him to understand, to forgive her, to just take her away from all of this.

"This is… this place… you came here?" she began, tears welling up in her eyes. "You came to –"

"The place I fell in love with you." Harry finished. Hot tears began to run down her cheeks. _He remembered. _Her heart began to flutter.

She took one step forward and Harry cut her off again.

"Why are you here?" he asked impatiently.

"Harry… I…" Hermione stammered. Why did she suddenly feel like a small child?

"You what? Come on, Hermione! Tell me exactly what the bloody hell you want because all I've _ever_ tried to do for the last _six years_ is try to do what _you want_! But I don't know what the hell it is anymore!" Harry screamed, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. He suddenly felt as if a giant weight was being lifted from his chest as he told her every ounce of frustration, fear, and hurt that he felt.

"_You_!" Hermione screamed back. She swore she could hear her heart beating in her ears.

"All I've wanted over the last six years is _you_," she said more firmly this time. The anger in her voice began to subside. "It has been killing me to act like I… like I don't want to wrap my arms around you and never let go. And every time you kissed _her_, I felt a piece of me die because all I _wanted_ was to feel your lips on mine like I did six years ago. And the only thing that has kept me going has been those small moments when your hand would touch mine and I could _pretend_ that you wanted _me_ just as badly as I want you!"

Tears were now falling down Hermione's face freely and her body seemed to loosen slightly, feeling free from the chains of pretending for so long. Her brown eyes met Harry's green ones. And for a moment she wondered if he would forgive her for making them pretend for so long.

Then in two quick strides, Harry had reached Hermione and with six years worth of longing, his lips met hers, as his hands went to the back of her neck, tangling his fingers into her hair. He needed to kiss her, to make her understand how much he loved her and how much he needed her. And she tasted exactly as he remembered… it was intoxicating and sweet with a light taste of chamomile.

She kissed him back with just as much intensity, her fingers taking fistfuls of his hair and trying to pull him closer into herself. She needed him to understand that she would never let him go again. She pushed herself closer to him and deepened the kiss, hoping he would understand. She couldn't breathe and she didn't care if she ever took another breath again - because in this moment she knew he loved her and that was all that mattered.

They began to slow down and finally broke away from one another. Gasping for breath, they kept their foreheads touching and their eyes closed.

Harry took his hands and cupped Hermione's cheeks in his hands, rubbing away her tears with his thumbs.

"Harry, I'm so…" she said breathless.

"I know. I know." He cooed back. "Me too".

She mustered a small smile of relief as she kept trying to catch her breath. With every breath, she took in his scent just like she did that night six years ago. He still smelled the same… a mixture of broomstick oil and musk.

"I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, Hermione." Harry said, looking deep in her eyes.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione said, happy tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. "I love you so much. Please don't ever leave me."

He kissed her again, but this time his lips were gentle as they touched hers. "I never will."

Before they could continue, the coupled turned around, startled at the sound of cracking twigs. It was Ron and his face was red as his body shook with rage.

"Ron… please…" Hermione began but she was cut off as Ron raised his wand at Harry.


	7. Chapter 7: You Left

**A/N: I am apparently on a writing role tonight! Here is chapter 7 and it is *most likely* the second to last chapter of this story. That doesn't mean I won't take the story line into a new story (because I am considering it) but I haven't figured that out yet. Anyway... here is a very emotional chapter and I can only hope that I did it justice. You'll notice that the ending is mostly between Ron & Hermione as they settle a few things. It wasn't easy to write since I love Ron (I pretty much love every character) so I didn't want to put him in a super negative light, but I think this worked...**

**I would also like to thank the people who have been leaving reviews - they mean the world to me! I am so happy that you are enjoying the story and I apologize for the cliffhangers, I know they get frustrating, but I appreciate that you are coming back. If you would please leave me another review - particularly about where I should go next. I know it will be a sort of epilogue, but the question becomes how far into the future will it be? A few weeks? A few years? I haven't figured it out yet.**

**I better get back to my homework and studying - I've neglected that all day and I have exams on Tuesday! Eeek! Here is your story! **

As instinct, Harry used one arm to push Hermione aside and with the other he pushed Hermione aside. She tried to fight him, to stand between the two men, but his arm would not move.

"STOP IT!" Hermione yelled at both of them. Her heart ached as she watched the two men stare daggers at one another – the whole situation reminded her of their fourth year at Hogwarts when Hermione was in the middle of the fighting boys. But that time felt so far away now – they were just children then. And now they were adults and things were unraveling quickly.

"Goin' to hex me then?" Harry called out.

"Count your blessings I don't kill you!" Ron yelled back.

"STOP IT! Please! Stop it!" Hermione yelled between them. She was still fighting to get between them, but Harry wouldn't allow it. He wouldn't allow her to get between them while a vengeful Ron held his wand out.

"OH SHUT IT!" Ron yelled at her.

"Leave her out of this!" Harry hissed back.

"Leave her out?" Ron said sarcastically! "How could I do that? Apparently, breaking my sister's heart wasn't enough for you, but you had to do it with MY girlfriend!"

"Ron, please just listen and try to understand!" Hermione pleaded.

"Understand? Understand? I'll show you what I understand!" Ron yelled.

His arms were shaking and Hermione suddenly felt a huge pang of guilt hit her. She had led him on for all of these years and caused him so much more pain than necessary. She was watching their friendship unravel at the seams and feared she may never be able to repair it.

Hermione was quickly pushed out of her thoughts as Ron began to utter a spell and as if instinct, Harry pushed Hermione out of the way, and as he did so, he cast a protection charm on her that left her in a cloudy light blue box.

Simultaneously, Harry shouted a defensive spell at Ron. But Ron was quick, and moved to a new spell just as quickly. Before Hermione knew it, the two men before her were dueling.

"STOP IT!" She yelled, her voice becoming hoarse from the strain. "STOP IT BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT! PLEASE!" she begged. She began banging on the walls of the enchanted box she was in, but neither of them seemed to notice she was there.

"When are you going to stop this!" Harry yelled at Ron as he dodged another spell. But this seemed to almost fuel the fire of rage in Ron.

"CRUCIO!" Ron yelled, aiming the spell at Harry. But Harry was quick and dodged it.

"STOP IT!" Hermione yelled from inside her protective box. She tried to shoot disarming spells at Ron, but the protective charm around her made them less effective. "PLEASE!"

"Playing dirty, are we Ron!" Harry shot back. He cast a binding spell that missed Ron by inches.

"Want to talk about playing dirty, Potter! Let's talk about sleeping with my girlfriend! BINDIA SERIO!" Ron yelled.

The spell hit Harry square in the chest. He was flung into the air and slammed into a tree a few feet behind him as chains began to tighten around his body, leaving him bound to the tree. Harry struggled to get free, but he couldn't.

"AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE SACRIFICED FOR YOU, YOU HAVE TO TAKE HER TOO!" Ron yelled at Harry. He was a deep shade of red now and his voice was rough from screaming.

"I DIDN'T TRY TO!" Harry yelled back, still struggling to get free.

"I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I WAS WILLING TO DIE FOR YOU! You knew the ONE thing I cared about more than anything was Hermione. But the amazing Harry Potter just couldn't handle not taking one more thing from me!"

"RONALD, PLEASE!" Hermione begged. Tears were streaming down her face now and for the first time, she thought Ron might just kill Harry.

"I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS EITHER!" Harry yelled back, trying to get Ron to see his perspective.

"REALLY? You didn't ask for it? You had a bloody girl, Harry! Or did you forget my sister all of a sudden? What are we to you? My family took you in and supported you through every horrific task and NEVER did we ask anything in return! I lost my brother! Mum and Dad haven't been the same since but they found solace in the fact that he died in Harry Potter's war!" Ron was heaving heavy sighs now and trying to fight back the sobs that were threatening to escape his lips. Hermione could see a few stray tears falling down his cheeks.

"And YOU!" He screamed, turning now to Hermione.

"Ron…" Hermione half pleaded with him. She could see the hurt in his eyes and she hated knowing that she caused it.

"After my family took you in for years, after I helped you look for your parents in Australia, after you refused to move in with me, after I begged you to marry me and you still said no! I should have known. Couldn't have Harry Potter so you took me? Pretending you loved me for YEARS and then you waited until he was going to marry my sister before you made your move – that way you can hurt the whole Weasley family! Is that it, Hermione? Couldn't handle taking me over the precious hero, Harry Potter!"

"No… Ron…please…" Hermione pleaded.

With a flick of his wrist, Ron released Hermione from her protective cage and stared her straight in the eye and lowered his voice so only she could hear.

"Well, you can have him. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of your precious romance. After all, I only waited patiently, waiting to marry the one person I love more than life itself! But I guess the last thirteen years don't matter to you," Ron said quietly. Each of his words cut through Hermione like a razor. A silence fell upon the three of them.

Ron walked a few feet away and just as he was about to apparate, Hermione broke the silence.

"YOU LEFT!" Hermione screamed. Ron stopped and opened his eyes, glaring at Hermione.

"You left us! You left_ me_! I waited for you for _weeks_ not knowing whether you were alive or dead. All I did was cry and wonder where you were and whether you were alright. I _hated_ it. I hated not knowing _anything! It KILLED me!_" Hermione said, half yelling and half sobbing. Her face was splotchy and red as hot, angry tears rolled down her eyes.

"And that gives you the right to sleep with him!" Ron bellowed back.

"I had _no one _else, Ronald! I was alone and terrified that we wouldn't make it out of this alive or that we'd be on the run forever! I was lost and confused and frustrated because no matter how hard I searched, I couldn't produce a valuable lead. He was _there_ for me, Ron. He was the _only_ person who was there for me when you left."

"So it is my fault then?" Ron jolted back sarcastically.

"No," Hermione's voice softened a bit. "I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to fall in love with someone else. I tried so hard not to but…it happened." Hermione finished quietly. She looked down at the ground again, feeling ashamed. She had truly never meant to hurt him or anyone else, but it had happened. And she couldn't take it back.

Ron continued staring at her intently, and then he put one finger under Hermione's chin, pushing her face upward. Her eyes met his and she could sense him searching her. She stiffened for a moment, afraid, but then he cupped her cheek with his hand and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Oh, Ron… I really do love you…" Hermione began.

"I know," he replied solemnly.

"I tried so hard…" Hermione said between sobs.

"I know," he said. He took a steadying breath and gulped back the tears that were threatening to overflow. His thumb began rubbing Hermione's cheek gently and as she stared into his eyes, she knew he understood.

She brought covered his hand on her cheek with her own as she tried to stop herself from sobbing. Ron broke his eye contact with her and gently kissed her on the forehead. When he met her eyes again, he gave me a weak smile and she knew that somehow, he had forgiven her.

Ron walked over to Harry, who had been silent and watching the whole time. With a flick of his wrist, the chains around Harry began to disappear and he stood in front of Harry, his expression unreadable.

"Take care of her, will ya?" Ron said quietly.

Harry nodded in response.

Then Ron reached out his hand to Harry, and Harry stood staring it in shock, and then he finally took it. They shook hands, which felt rather formal, and then Ron left.

Hearts break and hearts wait

To make us grow fonder

Then our eyes cry and souls sigh

So that we know that it hurts.

"Now & Then" by Adele


	8. Chapter 8: Reunion

It has been three months. Three long months since Hermione has spoken or heard from nearly all of her friends. She's been missing them.

After Harry and Hermione's encounter with Ron, Hermione had written a letter to Ginny, apologizing for the years of lies and hurt that she had caused. Neither Hermione nor Harry had meant to hurt the very people they considered family – but the truth was, they had done it. And they would have to live with it.

Ginny responded to the letter asking for space. So space was what they gave.

She avoided Diagon Alley and Hogsmead. She avoided sending owls to her Neville or Luna, or anyone else in the Weasley family. She even took a leave of absence from work and focused all of her energy into figuring out her new life – one in which she could be honest to herself and the world. The one she now shared with Harry.

But just yesterday, Hermione had received an owl from Neville, asking her to meet him at their favorite restaurant. Her stomach tied itself into knots at the thought of it and yet she felt excited to finally be seeing one of her friends. She felt so disconnected from them now and she missed their companionship.

Hermione entered the restaurant and she was greeted with the smell of fresh baked bread. _I've missed that smell_. Her eyes began to search the room for Neville and she finally found him, seated at a table in the corner of the restaurant. As she began walking over to him, he smiled at her. Her heart beat in her throat.

"Hermione," Neville said welcoming. He stood and gave her a hug. "It has been too long," he said in a warm tone.

"Much too long," Hermione agreed, returning the hug. "It is so good to see you." They broke away from the hug and each took their seats, facing one another.

"How have you been?" Neville chimed in.

"I've been well. How have you been? How is the green house progressing?" Hermione asked. She wanted to take the focus away from herself, still unsure as to how much Neville knew about the events of the past three months, and still unsure of his feelings about it.

"Been doing rather well, actually. The green house is coming along nicely. I finally hired an assistant yesterday, so that should give me some free time," Neville finished.

Hermione nodded and smiled. "That's great, Neville."

"But how are things with you? Are you doing alright?" he asked, giving her a sympathetic eye.

She moved her focus to the middle of the table and took a long sigh in. "Yeah," she began, "I'm doing alright".

"How are you really doing?" Neville asked, moving to catch her attention. "I know you've been avoiding everyone for a while, and I didn't write for so long because I wanted to give you some space. But we've missed you. We've _all_ missed you."

"I'm doing fine. Really," Hermione finished. While she was finally happy to be with Harry and not hide her feelings any longer, a part of her truly felt guilty for hurting the people that did nothing but love her. These people were family, and she had hurt them so deeply. She couldn't help but wonder if things would ever be the same.

"Hermione…" Neville pressed. "You don't have to pretend like you aren't happy. No one faults you for being honest."

"I am happy."

"But…"

"I just… I don't know," Hermione said, looking defeated. She couldn't explain it.

"Listen to me," Neville said seriously. "No one faults you for falling in love. No one," he finished firmly.

"But – "

"But _nothing_. You cannot help who you fall in love with. It happened. You shouldn't feel guilty for it."

"But I wasn't _supposed to_ fall in love with Harry."

"I don't remember reading that in the rule book," Neville countered. Hermione gave him an annoyed look.

"Hermione… It'll be fine. Give it time and everything will return to normal,"

"I'm not so sure," Hermione said quietly, looking down at the table again.

"Well I am," Neville said firmly. "Give them time. I know they miss you. Things aren't the same without you and Harry."

Hermione let out a loud sigh and contemplated what Neville was saying.

"I won't tell you that it will happen right away. They aren't pleased you two waited so long to say something, but they love you and want both of you to be happy."

Hermione gave him a nervous look. "How… how are they?"

"Doing well," Neville answered matter-of-factly. "Ginny's been spending more time at Shell Cottage to help out with the kids while Fleur is on bed rest."

"Oh, she must be losing her mind stuck in that bed! This pregnancy hasn't been treating her well, has it?"

"Well she is due at any day now."

"Wow… has it really been that long?" Hermione asked quietly, more to herself than Neville.

"Ron's been working a lot at the Ministry and the shop with the twins. I think he is just trying to determine what direction he wants his life to go in."

Hermione just looked down, trying to hold back the pang of guilt that hit her stomach.

"We should probably order something to eat," Hermione said quietly. She couldn't talk about Ron any longer.

"Yeah…" Neville agreed. Feeling defeated, he wondered if things would ever return to normal.

After their meal, Hermione and Neville parted ways.

"Promise you won't be a stranger?" Neville asked

Hermione gave Neville a smile. "Of course". She gave him another hug before she started walking down the cobblestone road. All she wanted was to go home and hide from her fears that her friendships were too far gone to be salvaged. The only stability she had anymore was Harry – but even that made her feel guilty.

Hermione finally reached the alley and she closed her eyes to apparate home.

"Hermione?" came an all too familiar voice, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

She turned around, greeted by a familiar red head and a clumsy smile. Her eyes were wide with surprise as they met his. She swallowed hard, as if attempting to push down the butterflies that suddenly erupted in her stomach. She was desperate to not look as terrified as she felt.

"Hi," she finally mustered.

"He looked down at the ground, as if trying to hide something. _Anger? Disappointment? Fear?_ Hermione wasn't sure. She could hear him take a deep breath and then his eyes met hers again.

"Hi," he said, clearing his throat. "How have you been?" He tried his best to hide his emotions and put on a friendly face.

"I've…I've been well. Keeping myself busy," she lied. She tried her best to keep her voice calm and smooth, acting as if this was a normal encounter.

Ron only nodded and looked at the ground. He knew she was lying.

"How have you been?" Hermione asked. She could feel her voice squeaking slightly – she wanted things to return to the way things were before. She missed being able to talk to Ron.

"Doing fine," Ron answered. "I haven't seen you in this area for a long while".

"Yeah…well…" Hermione began.

"-You've been avoiding everyone." Ron finished. His voice was calm.

"Yes," Hermione admitted.

"Why?" His voice was still calm but she sensed a tinge of curiosity. _How could he not know? He had to know._

"Ron… I… I thought that space was best for everyone. I'm only trying to stop further pain from happening. I've caused enough already…"

"I don't blame you for anything." Ron said. He blue eyes met Hermione's and she knew he was sincere.

"Ron-"

"I don't. It was my fault for leaving that night. It was my fault for making you feel like you couldn't talk to me. Above all else, we are friends – best friends – best friends that share something no one else in the world will ever be able to understand. I should never have expected to just return as if nothing was wrong. We were teenagers then. We're not teenagers anymore. It is time we stop acting like it."

Hermione was taken aback by his honesty and his sense.

"I… I…"

"Save it," Ron said, holding up his hand.

A silence fell between them. Hermione stared up at Ron, silently debating her next move. Suddenly, without a word, she moved towards him and hugged him tightly.

"I've missed you," she said quietly, not releasing him from the embrace.

"I've missed you too," he said quietly.

The trio had never been separated for so long and seeing Ron, as terrified as she was initially, made her feel better. Perhaps things would be alright after all.

"How is Harry?" asked Ron as they walked away from the alley and down the street.

"Well. I know he misses you though. I think he has been desperate for someone other than me to talk with," Hermione said with a small laugh.

"Have you been torturing him by talking about books nonstop?" Ron asked with a smile.

"Oh shut it," Hermione said, faking an angry voice. "I know he would love to see you".

"It would be great to see him too," Ron replied. He looked down at the ground nervously and lightly kicked a few of the small pebbles around.

"Do you think he has forgiven me for nearly killing him?" Ron asked quietly. His face was beginning to turn red and place his hands in his pockets. He looked down, trying to hide his feelings of shame.

She laced her arm in his and stood in front of him. She tried to meet his eyes, but he continued to avoid his gaze.

"Ronald…" she began. He continued to ignore her gaze. "Ronald," she said more forcefully, pulling his arm. He slowly looked up at her.

"I will not allow you to feel guilty about this. What… what we… what we did," she paused for a moment. "We hurt so many people. It was wrong for us to hide it for so many years. After we… after we _betrayed_ you like that, we should be _begging_ for your forgiveness." She couldn't help but feel somewhat disgusted with herself.

"Hermione…" he began with a sigh. "All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. And all I've ever wanted was for Harry to be happy. I hadn't seen it coming that you two would be happy _together_, but that doesn't mean I don't still want both of you to be happy." Ron finished. This time, it was he who was trying to force Hermione to look him in the eye.

"I know but-"

"But nothing. I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I never should have threatened him like that. I lost control of myself and to be honest, there was a moment…" he went silent. Hermione stared at him, her brows furrowed in confusion. "There was a moment when I thought I might actually hurt him. He is like my brother and for a moment, I had actually convinced myself that he had somehow stolen you from me," he said. He kept his gaze adrift. "In reality, I stole you from him. I made you feel like you couldn't be honest with me. And for that… I'm truly sorry."

"Oh Ron... It wasn't that I felt I couldn't be honest with you. I just couldn't imagine hurting you the way I did. I wanted to believe that I could hide it forever, that it was just a fluke, an accident. I wasn't ready to face my own feelings. I was a coward and because of it, we hurt so many people. I never would have allowed you to lose control."

"Can we just admit that mistakes were made on everyone's part?" Ron said gently. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. Hermione understood and nodded.

"Where are you living now?"

"Just outside of London in a Muggle neighborhood," she answered.

"And Harry?"

"We live together". Ron only nodded.

"Why a Muggle neighborhood?" he asked, curiously.

"Figured we would have a bit more privacy, be out of the way. After Ginny asked for space, we wanted to respect her wishes. We wanted to give her as much time as she needed. We didn't want to get in your family's way… they must be furious with us," she said, attempting to cover up the sadness that was creeping into her voice.

"Since when did Hermione Granger start sounding depressed?" he teased. "You both should know by now that you are a part of the family whether you like it or not".

Hermione smiled at this. "I know".

"Do you really? Just because you won't have the Weasley last name does not mean that you aren't in the family. Mum has never cared about an official title – you'll always be like her daughter. And Harry her son. That won't change."

"I just hope she can forgive us. Especially Harry. I know how excited she was to be planning a wedding." Hermione said.

"Oh – you two aren't out of the ball park yet. Mom will still be expecting a wedding out of the two of you".

"A wedding?" Hermione asked surprised.

"Am I over stepping my bounds on that subject?"

"No, no, not at all. I've just… we've never… discussed it."

"You've never discussed it?" Ron asked surprised.

"We've alluded to it perhaps. But we've never discussed it."

"What exactly are you two waiting for? Don't you think you wasted enough time?"

"Well… we're just waiting".

"For?"

"I think we weren't going to get married unless we knew that our family was going to be there".

"Hermione, we've discussed this. Of course your parents can attend the wedding. Just because they are Muggles does not mean they can't-"

"That isn't the family I was referring to," she said with a smile. "You can be so thick sometimes."

Ron smiled. "Ah. I see."

"It just wouldn't be right without you there. And I couldn't possibly plan an entire wedding without Ginny's advice and I'd need your Mum there to help me make decisions my Mum can't help with. Harry and I couldn't get married without you lot there."

Ron smiled. "So… when is the wedding?" he teased.

"Don't you think you should talk Harry into asking me first?" she laughed.

Finally, things were starting to feel normal again.


End file.
